look, it isn't much of a job. I only work one day a week. and my little column summarising interesting snippets from around the world isn't Pulitzer prize stuff. but I like it. I don't want to lose it. so I'm not sure whether to be amused or impressed that I got 90 per cent of the way through my 100-word article about petrol direct before I got to the bit about 4x lead fuels and started to wonder: is this for real? I think the plutonium petrol gives it away...

OK, I'm laughing. I still have my job.